BHHH2 Run #1627 Pura Dalem Dasong, Bukian 10 Feb 2024
Chinese New Year and Foreskin’s 65th
Hares: Foreskin, Steptoe, Chocolate Finger, Krystal Tits
What could possibly go wrong? . . .
Foreskin and his intrepid team of co-hares and paper bitches had put in a lot of effort to prepare for his birthday run. A late change of run site, many recces, commemorative shirts, a wantilan for shelter in case of a late shower, local pecalang to ably assist with limited parking. All should go well . . .
On Friday evening Steptoe casually mentioned to your scribe that the start might be a little “startling” – a bit of a slippery dip to set the tone! Whoa!
Saturday morning dawned bright and clear. Hash Cash Ringtail got her paperwork together, ready for another big turn-out. Out on the trail it was hot work for the hares – Krystal Tits’ phone was overheating!
Gradually the sun retreated – the sky took on a bruised look. It’s the rainy season after all. Your scribe’s entourage took off early from a dry Ubud in heavy traffic through Payangan. Soon it wasn’t the traffic that was heavy – the heavens opened with some fury. What kind of folly would drag sane folk out into such weather to go lolloping about the sodden countryside of Bali? Oh, that’s right – they’re hashers!
The RA tried interceding with the rain gods – the downpour just intensified. The RA gave up – went for a nap in his car.
Run time fast approached. But what was left out there for the pack to follow? Once again KT saddled up with paper and disappeared into the mists. A rejigged trail hastily marked and the baying hounds were released in hot pursuit. Steptoe took on the role of life-saver in the deepening waters of the banana plantation. Nobody died!
Wooden Eye woke up, had stern words with the gods and they listened this time. The torrent diminished, the beer flowed cold and plentiful, the Circle convened. All was again well with the world. Beginning with an enthusiastic chorus of “F**k off”, the Circle despatched half a dozen die-hards from Corona Hash (Angeles City, Philippines) back from whence they come.
The hares then received their dues for a sterling effort (but don’t tell ‘em that!). There was also a down down for the mad b*ggers who actually undertook the original long trail – 11+ clicks in that muck. Well done Shrek, Dip It In Honey, Snowballer and a couple of others.
OK, the day didn’t actually follow the script but what a great day it was. Almost 100 braved the weather on the trail and a lively Circle followed.
The day’s activities were later critically re-viewed by this team of experts, and given the thumbs up. Siberian Sergei’s bum had warmed up again by this time, though he says he doesn’t feel the cold until it reaches -45⁰. He looked quite at home on the ice.
Meanwhile chaos reigned on some of the roads – a landslide had cut off Barnacle Balls’ route home and there were trees down elsewhere. But what’s a little water to a true hasher? On On!!
“The Backwards Run Gets a Makeover”: notes from Krystal Tits
10h00 – The day dawned bright and cheery as the hares made it to the runsite. Hours were whiled away lovingly setting paper, basking in the warm rays of the sun.
14h30 – As the last of the two pairs of hares walked back to the carpark, one of them stupidly mentioned that it looked “mendung”. Yes, mendung! Overcast, cloudy…. A prophetic word indeed. Only after the other hare reassured the first that “Oh, no, it’s not going to rain!” did they pose their posteriors on the wantilan and watch the first drops fall.
15h00 – The first hash car arrived. Nobody got out for 10 minutes. Finally, an apologetic looking Frenchman emerged, just to inform the hares that the family refused to get out of the car. They’ll be damned, they said, if they were going to put up with walking around in ankle high water, slipping down mudslides and dodging lightning bolts just so papa here could get a beer. They departed.
16h00 – They needn’t have been so conservative! Ankle high water you say? By the time the brave bunch of lunatics set out on trail, some water holes could’ve swallowed Serial Offender’s entire car. Noah was already loading the animals two by two and people were complaining about the lack of proper embarkations.
But! Rumors of a stray hare resetting paper heartened the pack a little, and so things went ahead more or less as planned.
This is where it might be useful to fully elucidate the title of this part of the Hash Trash. This run, you see, is no ordinary run. It’s been run before. Backwards. Foreskin has the Victor Award to prove it. Why the run was run backwards in the first place is something humanity may never fully comprehend. Or maybe the paper was just shit.
Anyway. This was meant to be “Take 2” (twooooooooooo!!…). We were going to set wrongs right. Restore order to the cosmos. However, the abundant precipitation giving rise to certain safety concerns, Foreskin made the gut-wrenching decision to amputate his run. The stray hare dutifully rejigged the SHORT IN trail to be an out trail. From the split, hashers ran the LONG extension.
Ahhhhh…. What do they say about the best laid plans?
On the original SHORT AND LONG OUT – which as you may have grasped, led to/overlapped with the LONG IN – much effort was put into being clear. We want you to turn * HERE *. We do not want you to miss this turnoff and go and run the thing backwards again like last time. So what did the front running bastards do when they came in on the LONG IN trail? They saw the arrows and dutifully followed them. Off they went on the originally-planned SHORT AND LONG OUT.
Bless their soggy little cotton socks. When they finally returned, at least one of them had clocked 13km. We tip our hats to you.
And thus it was that even after 2 tries (twooooooooooo!!…), Foreskin’s vision has yet to be fully realized. Third time’s a charm?
18h00 – There was a circle, Serial Offender and Wooden Eye presiding. A Siberian person was iced (I mean, did he even notice?), delicious birthday cake was consumed, people were properly chastised for breaking yet another bamboo bridge, and general fun was had.
On On to the next disaster