BHHH2 Trash Run 1358 Pantai Mas, Temukus, Lovina
“Once in a Blue Moon”
“How old are you Grandma?” young NightJar said.
“I am 80 years old,” Mrs Jar replied “and you mark my words young lad, if you run the hash every week and drink as much piss as I have in my life you too will live to be 80 years old.”
“- But make the most of it,” she added “your 80th birthday only comes once in a Blue Moon.”
And so it came to pass that when the very next Blue Moon came around, only a mere 74 years later, it was indeed Nightjar’s 80th birthday.
And what a do it was. Like a load of thirsty termites everyone came out of the woodwork for the occasion, people we hadn’t seen for years, even people we thought were long dead (well they had looked pretty well dead the last time we had seen them).
At the Pantai Mas hotel in Lovina the hounds gathered and in typical Nightjar fashion everything was better organised than lunchtime at Bangli hospital, they even had Policemen to help us across the road – and to help us into our cars later on after a belly full of beer and bubbly.
4 pm came and we were off, scampering across the rice fields, the willy woofters trying to keep their shoes clean and the old farts gasping for breath. We headed South towards a steep hill. The short turned off along the flat while the front running bastards headed upwards like a herd of mountain goats searching for a good rut. They stumbled around for a while among trees and rocks in total confusion then, finding a rut was not offer on this auspicious day, they gave up, descended and rejoined the short.
Then it was on on to the beach. What sort of smartarse sets a run along a beach at low tide knowing the tide is coming in? It didn’t really matter, there was paper everywhere along with every other kind of garbage you have ever seen – the Suwung Tip had nothing on this beach. We waded through the sea and (of?) garbage and so it was back to the Pantai Mas Hotel.
We had scaled misty high mountains, crossed volcanic lakes, traversed treacherous windy mountain roads, crawled across broken glass (no, we didn’t do that!) to finally get to do one of the shortest hash runs ever in Lovina. Was it worth it? You betcha!!
This was no ordinary hash event, this was the 80th Birthday Bash of the man who founded hashing in Bali, Victor ‘Nightjar’ Mason, a stellar event organised by the man himself and abley assisted, of course, by our very own ‘Inflatable Bedmate’ and Sumadi. People came from far and wide, some hashers had even made the long slog (3 hours) to Lovina on the Friday to make a long dirty weekend of it.
Our beloved Hash Master ‘Muddy Man’ began the proceedings with the obligatory Down Down for the Hares, we weren’t sure who they were and neither were they, but ‘Nightjar,’ ‘Inflatable Bedmate’ and ‘Worm’ did not deny their involvement.
Moving on to the Visitors and we had heaps of Visiting Hashers. It was nice to see some old familiar faces as the Returners entered the circle, Bali Hash luminaries such as ‘Tampon’ from Ubud, ‘Jorok’, who very kindly sponsored the food, Veteran Hashers ‘Handjob’, ‘Long & Strong’ and Hash 2 (TWO!) Hierarchy ‘Labia’ (welcome back Lippsy), ‘Wooden Eye’ and ‘Closet Queen’ graced the circle.
Also nice to see ‘Pounding Savaloy’ Nigel Ames and his lovely wife Jackie, the ‘Scallywags’ from Gili T coming to pay their respects to ‘Nightjar’.
If we thought a three hour car ride was a long way to go to get to the hash, we were joined by Hash Luminaries from all over the world, who had made the arduous trek to Bali specially for this grand occasion. We brought in ‘Garfield’, who had ‘come the furthest’, so to speak, all the way from Washington DC, so we put him on ice. Then we had ‘The Penguin’ coming from Bonnie Scotland who had brought some light rain with him, however luckily for him had found a dodgy looking pink umbrella somewhere. Representing Australia in our ‘Hashers who came the furthest’ category was the famous ‘Whoreator’ from the Sunshine Coast, who did his bit in the circle for Nightjar with a Down Down for the young 80 year old, who, for some reason, only he knows, kissed a very old hasher on the lips before his Down Down.
Then there was a very emotional moment when the Hash Masters of Bali’s Bolla and Colla Hash came into the circle to present ‘Nightjar’ with some gifts. Nice one guys, we all liked that kind gesture very much, with Hash Master ‘Closet Queen’ representing the other Bali Hash clubs.
It was time for ‘Organ Grinder’ to lead our religious observances. He gave us a quick history lesson on other past prestigious events that happened on this day and brought in the circle a bunch of Celts, I think that’s what he said! We purified those with Roman noses, celebrated the ‘Day the Music Died’ and we sang un-politically correct hash songs, assisted by Ubud Hash Mafia Boss ‘Blowjoe’, ‘The Penguin’, ‘Whoreator’, ‘Garfield’ and of course ‘Nightjar’ himself.
As the run was so far from home we recognized the hashers that had their fair share of road accidents (not fatal obviously) in the past on the way to runsites. Horny Herring had the most ‘hash scratches’ on his car, followed by ‘Handjob’, then the ‘Evil Knievel’ of ‘most hash falls off a motorbike’ ‘Long & Strong’ was brought in, followed closely by ‘Labia’ for falling off his Harley and ‘Wooden Eye’ for bike and car hash induced incidents.
Apart from trying to put ‘Horny Herring’s’ Husky on ice (where it’s more at home actually), ‘Discowanker’ called in the circle two policemen for a Down Down, to which they nervously obliged. A mass of phone cameras ensued. Visiting hours to see ‘Discowanker’ in Kerobakan will be announced shortly.
The circle closed to a rousing ‘Bar’s Open!’ with Beer, Champagne and Cocktails to wash down yummy food and tasty glutinous Birthday cake.
A big thank you to everyone who came all the way to Bali and indeed Lovina for the event.
Thank you Sumadi, we love you for looking after Victor so well and finally a huge thanks to all our lovely Sponsors. Bintang Beer (Thank you Fitri). Delicious ‘Bali Moon’ Cocktails and the spectacular singlets (Thank you Nick Blackbeard and Cliff Rees). Champagne from Hatten Wines (Thank you Pak Lila). The yummy food from Bali Bakery (thank you Ayung – ‘Jorok’ and ‘Ibu Jorok’) and ‘No Deposit’ who made the birthday cake.
See you at next week’s run!